And the Answers Are?
Monday, 06. April 20093A + 4B – C + D = 15
A – 3B + 2C – 5D = 32
(A – 1) + B + 4C + 2D = 31
5A + 2B – 3C + D = 3
Solve for A, B, C, and D.
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The problem above (an example of simultaneous linear equations with multiple unknowns, solved traditionally by what is sometime known as matrix algebra) is about the most appropriate metaphor for my waking hours since late Friday afternoon. And most of my hours since then have been waking hours. My world is filled with multiple unknowns and we are currently attempting to juggle the multitude of possible scenarios.
I do want to express my sincere appreciation for your many kind thoughts and wishes. You will never know the positive impact each one of your comments has had.
I am indeed sure that I will survive. Of the end I am confident. The journey will not be without its pain and its adjustments, but it is not a journey that is totally unknown to me. I made a very similar journey in 1988 when I quit my job without another job to go to and made a drastic switch in careers. (Yes, the old one was *that* bad!) I survived and I will survive again.
The decisions that will determine this journey includes some new variables. Do I seek a new position? How soon? Early, reduced Social Security is an option in the near future. What kind of position? What kind of work? There are a number of possibilities (although not all are probable). How do I handle my current debt and mortgage? How do my retirement investments figure into all of this? Do I apply for unemployment? When do/can I do any of these to the best advantage? I am still working on the solution to the equations.
In the midst of all of this I have a calm and a peace that is almost uncanny. (It was also that way in 1988.) This past Friday my position was eliminated and my employment terminated “without cause”. The termination documents clearly state that truth. That means that I was not fired for slacking, or for embezzlement, or for inappropriate conduct, … The company is trying to say that we had to cut somebody because of the economic climate. We cut you, but we still like you.
Even so, as any who have been so terminated can attest, there is a deeply seated voice that asks “why me? why not him/her?” That can easily and quickly translate into destructive feelings of self unworth and self doubt. I will not deny that such feelings have welled up within me, but I have been quick to dispel them. The many kinds words, thoughts, and specific actions of friends are powerful weapons of the spirit to “still the enemy and the avenger”. The words of a mentor when I was a teenager came to mind with regard to these thoughts: “You cannot stop a bird from flying over your head, but you do not need to let it make a nest in your hair.”
In the midst of all that went down on Friday, life presented yet another metaphor. There were some very strong storms move through the area as this termination was happening to me. When I arrived at my home, I discovered that the storm had blown off one of the old wooden, mustard-colored, louvered shutters from one of the front windows. (Recall that recently a storm blew shingles from our roof and we had to have the roof shingles replaced.) My first reaction was “what next?!”
The loss of the shutter like the termination of my position presents an opportunity for something new.
This morning I was on line scoping out new shutters for the windows. I think raised panel shutters would look nice. Wedgwood blue against the brick would be awesome, I think. Don’t you?
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That’s a wrap.
Sending HUGS to all!
Are those airline seat assignment? Aircraft gates? See now, I just knew there was going to be that time when my math teacher from grade school was right..that somehow all of those numbers would come in handy someday. And today is that day! I hope you sort things out.. …clearly and easily.
It cheers me to hear you’re keeping your spirits up. Your strength and courage are an inspiration, something I myself need right now, so I thank you for sharing your story.
I think the blue raised panel will look fabulous against the brick.
Oh, and I couldn’t resist:
a = 5, b = 3, c = 8, d = -4
It’s been a long, long time.
Lem: But, Doug, you have not forgotten! You get the “A”!!
Keep searching. Keep smiling. But also, allow yourself to mourn as appropriate. Even though we have never met, I still consider you a friend and still am concerned about your well being. Take care of yourself like we would if we could be there.
trying to take control by scooping up all the what ifs and variables drives you bonkers. Good luck in trying to make sense of it all. I think if you do the little bits one day at a time, the larger pieces will clear up, the path becomes more certain.
Sometimes it helps to see this as a sort of adventure; most great stories start off badly (Oliver Twist draws the short straw) but it turns into something marvelous.
Perhaps there will be some grace is this sabbath, albeit an unexpected and unasked for one.
Hey. Take a break and come South for a bit.
There was something that I was going to say but then Doug distracted me when he gave the answers. Now I’ve been trying to solve these with those answers.
May the variables whittle down and provide you a clear direction.